Yes. In fact, I firmly believe it’s much better for the long-term health of children, as well as for the long-term parent-child relationship, if custody issues are resolved amicably and outside of court through mediation. Mediation is a great way to negotiate a parenting/custody schedule. It provides both parties with the opportunity to be actively involved with and to have control over creating the parenting/custody schedule that works best for their children and family. It’s my firm belief that parents know their children the best and not judges, who may have only minimal contact with the parents and their children before being required to make custody decisions. Additionally, judges are limited in their options on what custody schedules they can order. And there’s the simple fact that nobody wants to be told by a judge that they cannot see their children or that their time with their children will be limited.
The mediation process allows the parties to create schedules that are much more flexible, work with their work, school, and extracurricular activity calendars, and provide best for everyone having frequent and continuing contact with each other.
Additionally, it cannot be overstated that children know when their parents are fighting over them. This creates a tremendous amount of stress for them- knowing that their parents are going to court to fight over them and worrying that they may be put in the middle. In particular, as children grow older, their wishes or preferences carry more weight in custody considerations. Many children fear having to choose one parent over the other or they fear that by expressing their honest wishes that they will be disappointing their parents. Litigation of custody issues, creates a lot of these issues for children.
In mediation, the parents are able to tell their children that they are working together to create a custody schedule that will work for everyone. Divorce is traumatic enough on children. If their parents can look them in the eye once a settlement is reached and be able to tell their children that they worked out a schedule amicably and one that best meets their needs, is goes a long way towards helping their children transition into the post-divorce life with as little stress as possible. This makes such a difference in the well-being of a child- academically, socially, emotionally- if they are able to see their parents work together as a united front in spite of the divorce.
In addition, studies have consistently shown that stipulated orders (orders that are agreed to by the parties out of court), are far more likely to be followed by the parties and are far more likely to result in joint custodial schedules where the non-residential parent sees their children more often, if not equally.
When compared with litigation, mediation is the only option that allows a parent a significant amount of control over when, where, and how they will spend time with their children post-divorce.