You don’t have to be friends with your spouse or cave in to their demands in order for mediation to be a success.

Mediation does not require a party to be friends with the person they are divorcing or require them to concede to the other person’s demands.  What mediation does require, however, is that the parties work together towards a settlement.  This does not mean that it is a tea party.  It can be emotional and tense because all parties to mediation are in the same place, meeting face-to-face.  A party may be forced to hear things said to the mediator by the other party that they disagree with vehemently or they consider to be completely untrue.  However, it is the job of the mediator to assist the parties with understanding themselves and each other and to help break down destructive communication patterns that might interfere with a settlement.  The mediator is not a judge of right or wrong and does not evaluate each side’s positions to determine a “winner”.  The mediator’s role is to bring the parties with differing opinions and positions together to reach a settlement that satisfies as many of each parties’ issues/needs as possible.  You don’t have to like the other side in mediation or be friends with them.  There are many valid reasons why you are divorcing.  However, for mediation to work, you must be committed to the process knowing that, far more often than not, mediation leads to a far better, long-term result than litigation.